Forgetting... To forgot is not to remember something. But can you truly forget something where you still see scars?
For instance. In humanity. Humanity is completely lead astray. In Christians lead other Christians astray with certian teaching and attitudes. Are we to believe and trust the very people who said C.S Lewis was consumed with satan?
Can we forget?
fallible.. We're all fallible. We allow emotions to conflict opinions. We allow it to cloud our judgment. We all them to consume us sometimes. And for what? Do emotions make us more consistent? Or do they add to the consistency of mankind?
I once could consider myself to be a stone wall. Nothing could effect me. You could have been my best friend, and stabbed me, in the back, and I would not have reacted. Seriously. Somewhere over time, I stopped taking care of my walls. And they chipped. Little by little they chipped down. And what was revealed scared me. So I have been working every since to rebuild what I lost. But sometimes, like tonight, I realize I have alot left to go.
What's funny about the whole thing, is that we only have this one chance. This one time to live this life. And somehow along the way, with what I've learn about man-kind, I'm going to screw it up. I've come to accept this. Mainly because it is unavoidable. For instances:
I once was really super outgoing. And that got me in trouble some. Then I shrunk into a shell, and that got me in trouble. Then I was somewhere in between... And THAT got me in trouble.
So no matter what we do, we're going to piss someone off. It's just that simple. So which way do you go? The simple fact is, all paths have been traveled by someone before us. "The path less traveled by" will make you an outcast. And piss people off. Going down the path everyone else goes now pisses people off as well, because you keep running into them. So what do you do?
Right now I've established my disdain for humanity. I hope that part is clear, lol. But for some reason, I keep having to come back and love them. It could be apart of my problem with people... I love people so much. More than people can imagine. I pour my life into them.. but it seems like it's not needed. Nor wanted.
Frustration. Brokenness. Darkness. Light. Emptiness. Confusion.
- Love-
'Future of Forestry'
"If you find her"
She won�t falter easy
She�ll be careful, she'll be coy
But still she paints her heart
Among the musings of a boy
If You find her
Tell her that I love her
If she hears You
Ask her heart to come
At the break of morning
The day awaits her when she sleeps
Deep inside her dreams is all
The beauty that she keeps
"Gazing"
From this blessed morning
My love constant has been pouring
Pouring out like rivers to Your heart
Glory bells are ringing
I can't keep myself from singing
Singing out like rivers to Your heart
Oh, Lord, I have found my place in this home, this home inside of You
And here, my Lord, I can see Your face
In this home, this home inside of You
Like a child I'm gazing
Into wondrous grace
For You have been the love that fell like sun upon my face
Like a child I'm gazing
Into wondrous love
You're taking me to places that my heart is dreaming of
Broken I was crawling
And You saw my tears were falling
Falling down like rivers to Your heart
When my world was folding
God, You saw my prayers were flowing
Flowing out like rivers to Your heart
Hear the sacred songs that touch the earth and the sky
See them rise until they move like stars within Your eyes
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1 comment:
My general thoughts on being a "stone wall" are this. It is usually best to be sensitive to the pain of others and insensitive to the pain of yourself.
In other words, one should be careful around other people and try to say things in a loving way. One should try to accommodate the needs of others (when morally possible).
However, one should also not be concerned with how others say things to you. Focus on the message they are trying to communicate and not on the method they are using to communicate. One should not spend much time dwelling on whether other people are meeting your needs or are trying to make you happy.
And as for getting yourself in trouble, I say "be the person God wants you to be and don't care about how others respond to that".
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